I wrote the following towards the end of 2019. I had passed through one of the most traumatic experiences of my lifetime. Worse than death. I had a crisis of faith where my entire world fell apart and I had to figure out the objective truth of this world all over again. What do I believe? What is real? Who am I without the church?
My motives were questioned. My sanity dismissed. A lifetime of service, sacrifice and dedication to God was completely voided. In the process of building this website and tearing it down to build and reorganize it again, I found this tucked away on a page that really ought to have been a blog post instead.
What to expect now that you’re awake.
You now realize that you’ve been taught for doctrine the commandments and philosophies of men. You will have powerful emotions to process as you ponder all this means and in all the ways your life has been affected. The way you understand scriptures, your lifestyle, the ways in which you’ve been obedient are all up for review. This transition is normal and expected.
To help you on your journey, outlined below are some areas of interest that may be part of your re-evaluation process. Much like a pendulum, you might initially consider swinging to the opposite extreme in some areas. Depending on how you process this paradigm or your areas of curiosity you need support and wise council. Provided on this website are relevant scripture references to guide you as you explore new territory. Remember, with freedom comes responsibility. Most importantly: take your time.
Anger, betrayal, confusion, fear, a sense of loss, that’s just one half. Excitement, gratitude, a sense of satisfaction, desire to share…it’s all normal. You can expect to feel quite a bit as you come to terms with the “shelf breaking.” Take the time to mourn. Your emotions are valid. Pass through them in a healthy way. Learn, manage, and overcome.
Your Next Move
Breaking out of a false paradigm is not enough. You have spent decades building relationships and a life. You are woven into a tribe locally and a community at large. You need to reason through the next steps in your journey and consider all of the potential outcomes. Your next move needs to be strategic and calculated, not reactionary. God has led you to where you are. Honor the journey of others.
Re-reading this now, I realize that it was advice I needed at the time.
The journey through a faith crisis is treacherous and many who pass this way don’t come out the other end with their faith in God intact. It is my prayer that my experience and the evidences and correlations that I have gathered here on this website will be a buoy to any who are struggling. God is real. Even though my faith in an institution (LDS church, Inc.) was misplaced, He was still there…patiently leading me along.
I wish you blessings and peace, Friend.